Matt Ferguson
(Source: eggsandcrazysauce)
Avengers: they really were the last option
- Nick Fury: Oh no! LokI! Let's call the X-Men!
- Maria Hill: They are on an excursion, laughting at some creationist museum.
- Nick Fury: Ok, never mind. Call me Carol Danvers!
- Maria Hill: She is away. Like really away. On space.
- Nick Fury: Then I want the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver!
- Maria Hill: They are on strike. It seems Magneto isn't paying them enough.
- Nick Fury: Black Panther?
- Maria Hill: Is getting married.
- Nick Fury: Hank Pym and Janet van Dyne?
- Maria Hill: The same. Well, there are still the Aveng-
- Nick Fury: Spiderman! And you can see I am desperate!
- Maria Hill: We can't! He is at school. School is important.
- Nick Fury: Spider-Woman then.
- Maria Hill: She is in France. On a holiday. Paid by us.
- Nick Fury: Call me Scott Lang then!
- Maria Hill: He asked us not to call him. He is on a date.
- Nick Fury: Jack of Hearts?
- Maria Hill: He is on Scott Lang's date. I mean, he has a date with Scott Lang.
- Nick Fury: Who is left?
- Maria Hill: Well, there are the Avengers-
- Nick Fury: She-Hulk?
- Maria Hill: She has an important case this week and she turned off her cellphone.
- Nick Fury: Black Knight?
- Maria Hill: He is back in Camelot.
- Nick Fury: But it's a silly place!
- Maria Hill: Sir, we really have to call someone. There are the Avengers.
- Nick Fury: FINE. Let's call the Avengers. But get me the Black Widow too.
Avengers - ‘I Have…’ by *cartoonjunkie
Here’s to all you Tony/Bruce fans out there!
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